Miraculous Brightside monastery
Services
As in every sacred place, there is a ritual you should stick up with to get maximum of
your pilgrimage. Although Aurelius didn't leave any written documentation on how to use
available equipment practice approved a couple of assumptions. There are four
independent praying wheels, each connected to its own group of electric monks,
representing four sides of the world. Wheels are texturized using an image of $ currency
in a way assuring that "In God we trust" sentence is visible (this is of very most
importance). Electric monks are not connected to the wheels but to your mind, using
telepathy, they are reacting on your thought, i.e. if you can touch the wheel without
thinking about that they will miss starting their mantra, try this. Those familiar with Zen
should be quite comfortable to this way of acting. Anyway, normal behavior is to
think clearly about your action so monks will start EuroOom mantra immediately and
keep repeating it during the entire cycle of spinning, about 60 seconds. To achieve the
biggest possible vibration all four wheels should be moved up so that all monks are busy
humbling to their parts of the world. Keep doing this for at least 3 minutes, ie. make at
least three circles around the backyard touching wheel if it is stopped, but as much as
better, of course. There is no exact recommendation about the direction you have to
use in circling, someone use clockwise, someone counter clockwise it seems to be a
matter of personal choice and there is no harm in mixing those two. That is the basis.
Act as a believer and you'll become a believer, it is a time tested approach in all religions.
Believe and miracle will come, usually after all your expectations were gone.
We at E-Commercial Church can not guaranty material success to every single visitor,
as always when it comes to the faith, the end result is something between you and Gods.
Our mission is just to show you a path to the higher worlds, how you are going to use that
opportunity is up to you. However, there will be a lot of other things where we can endorse the quality of our
service. For example, as soon as our Confession Program goes to life we can
guaranty fair redemption prices for every sin from adultery to the war crime. Our AI
guided Electric Shepherds will hardly take care about your babble, you'll get your
blessing guaranteed, just bribe them enough. If you donate something to our church
you can be sure in turn you'll get forgiveness for your sins...as everywhere.
And that is not all, of course. We have plans about female department which will
include cyber nuns engaged in psychotherapy and a couple of gadgets for everyday use.
First, there will be an instance of Random Number Generator Machine as a helper in
gambling and, beside of this, there will be an Ultimate Answer Machine able to solve
problems of immense complexity. Have on mind that UAM was meant only for profound
philosophical and ethical questions, if it is about trivial daily dilemmas, such as a bank
loan, divorce or robbery, consult your friend or relative, or even better some pro, lawyer
or a shrink.
To get better picture about E-Commercial Church, and our services, do not miss
to read our official Disclaimer.
Enjoy your visit to this holy place, believe and get rich!
